Although I started having panic attacks at the age of ten, my parents would never suspect, that something was wrong with me on any other level than physical. They always thought I had weak nerves. As an adult I often asked the question: How come my Mom and Dad didn’t see that I was lost and suffocated in that family? They were busy being miserable,and did not have the information and the knowledge we have today.
The loud fighting, arguing went on and on in our house almost every day. My Mom and Dad have had so much problems each, that I did everything I could to not be another one. I was a straight A student, piano classes, kayaking…no fooling around with boys, a perfect kid, a perfect teenager. Additionally to that I was the clown of the family, who made funny faces, danced, whistled or told jokes whenever there was a need to release tension. Sounds familiar?
So, just a thought: Is it possible for the kids in the family to be all right, when the parents are not? I don’t think so. Not every family is loud. Some parents/couples are really nice and polite to each other, but sometimes that’s all there is, no love and affection. And there is the third kind, where they aren’t nice/polite, they aren’t loud, but there is this passive-aggressive constant tension between couples.
If/when the kids are/seem happy in families like this, something is off. Children want their parents to be happy, peaceful and successful. And they want to fix their problems. But they can’t, they aren’t equipped, and they aren’t suppose to.
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