Addiction is a beast. Addiction is a way of hiding, not facing the mountain. What are we hiding from? What is that mountain? Sometimes a problem, a shortcoming, hurt; but sometimes our brilliance, yes sometimes we are scared that we actually might be f….n awesome. Shocking? It’s pretty common actually. The thing is, it’s subconscious most of the time.
So many lives were lost due to Covid. I heard about situations where they didn’t even have time to test the person, and the person was already gone. And yet some have no symptoms at all. It’s a mystery to me. The pandemic isn’t the only reason lives could be lost. We loose our loved ones to accidents, to other illness, to addiction, to suicide, and more.
I would like to help those that are grieving actually to those who are morning.
Mourning is a natural reaction to a loss. A feeling of deep sorrow. Grieving however is a feeling of “I can’t live without you; I want to die too; I’m never ever going to be happy, feeling joy and love again. And still grieving is more commonly used. I’m not going to go on the scientific route here, because I have gone through both unfortunately when my parents passed away. Awful, paralyzing, lonely feeling. I have also worked w clients, who were not able to transition from grieving to mourning, and it greatly interfered with their personal life, meaning w their relationships to those who are still living. Maybe this writing will help some people.
Another very important negative feeling seems to appear during grieving is “guilt“: Maybe if I did this or that; I failed to say this or that…….will haunt you forever if you don’t make it stop. But you can’t make it stop, because you’re so week/feeble that you barely have the will to live. Stay with me, please. I know this isn’t an easy read, but important. First of all, you’ll find out, that you’re not alone. Most people go through this. And
The third toxic feeling is “helplessness“, which is a sibling of shame. Good Lord! Can it get any more devastating? Yes, it can. Especially with Covid where we were not able to visit our loved ones, sometimes not able to go even to the funeral. This way pain stays wide open, no closure. We all need to go through these feelings, I agree. There is no going around this one.
I do need to mention one more issue that arises as a misunderstanding especially for children, but does not exclude adults either who were emotionally/spiritually close with the deceased. That is abandonment. For the living, especially for young people consciously or subconsciously the passing of the loved one seems as an abandonment. This feeling arises in cases of sudden loss, and it is not a rational one, due to shock, trauma, fear, anger that can not be dealt with immediately. Abandonment kind of sneaks up on the person being in a lot of pain. An experienced therapist, social worker or healer is definitely needed when the time is right. Timing is crucial for the person to be able to participate and cooperate with the healing process.
The grieving/guilt/helplessness/shame/abandonment route is a dead end, where healing would not take place. It’s a black hole, and you can only go deeper and deeper into it. The first marriage I saved was where the wife was going on six years of grieving her mother. She was not available to her loved ones in any shape or form. I’m not sure if the experience of every loss starts with grieving, but in order to heal that loss, one needs to transition to mourning. Grieving creates self-destruction, and mourning is focused on the loss of the loved one, sadness, sorrow – giving way to healing, and being able to separate yourself from the person you lost, not attacking self-worth, self-esteem and the will to live.
There is also a spiritual aspect of letting the loved one go, that is very personal, and helps him/her “cross over” easier. Sometimes the person that passed away needs help entering eternity. Usually when he/she left things unsaid or unresolved. Will explain in session.
As a healer, as a friend I have compassion, empathy for situations I have never been in, however this one is very familiar. Every person is different, but the energy healing I do creates rapid personal transformation, clearing those toxic thoughts and emotions that would NOT let you heal and live your life fully. You have already spent probably years punishing yourself with “what ifs”, “how could I”, “I’m never gonna”, etc.
Let me show you that you re “wrong”. Believe me, this time you’ll want to be wrong. Please pass this on to someone who can’t seem to move on, let go or overcome. Tell them that they are wanted, they are needed, and they are loved here and now. I’m available for sessions and group healing as well.
I really want to share with you this experience that happened to me today. It’s October 15th the last day to file taxes for those who asked for an extension. Including myself. Why not, why not wait to the last minute, and be stressed out like a lunatic. Oooooh I was so angry with myself…..
So listen to this: I live in Nyack, and since I have this CPA in Queens for over twenty years, (sorry Gloria) I needed to drive to Queens Village today. Before I went, I checked all my documents, to make sure, I have everything I need, and get it over with. I drove like the wind, got there in no time, parked in front of his office, and when I reached for my bag, I realized, I did not have the documents in it. I started analyzing myself: self-sabotage, that’s it, self-sabotage; than I looked around again, because I could not believe I did this. Nop, nothing. Well, I turned red (I know I’m red, ok reder) and purple, and you name it. I was livid.
Ok, so what are my options here? – I asked myself. Don’t go in, just turn around, get the f…n documents and come back again. Or, go home, and maybe never file taxes in my life again, mad. Or go in, and tell him as it is, and ask, when would be a later appointment possible today. I was just waiting in the car a few more minutes until the shock wore off, and I did go in. Paul, my CPA is nice. He asked me how I am, and I said not good. Told him what happened, and he came up with a brilliant idea: Go home, he said, and fax/email all the documents you have. Huhh. A load off. Let me pay at least, I said. So I did that, and headed back to Nyack. Just before exiting his office I turned back, and said: And I’m not even in love, if I would be, I would have an excuse. You know what Paul told me? He said: Maybe you need to be in love, so this would not happen. Just let me know who the lucky guy is. Did I mention, he’s from India? Pearls, pearls, pearls…..sometimes you do need to go to your accountant empty handed.
So I was just thinking about this for the past couple of weeks. For seventeen years I have had the same hourly rate. Than I got yelled at, because the work we do creates rapid personal transformation, people’s lives are changing fast, and I needed to increase my fee. Turns out, everybody else did already, except me.
Woohoo, the reaction was drastic, but I kept at it, because I know how much this program is worth, and I know how much I’m worth. And than I was thinking to myself: when we have a plumbing problem, we call the plumber right? When the roof is leaking we have to fix it. If we don’t have AC in the middle of summer, we don’t wait years, we call a professional that day. When we have a cough, fever, throat ache, etc. we run to the pharmacy or the doctor, or naturopath preferably. We want a new house, new car we buy one. We want/need new close, dinner out …….
But what about the SOUL folks? What about the soul? What is it that we do when our heart is broken? What is it that we do when we get a nervous breakdown, or we can’t think straight, when we are sad, angry or afraid? The soul is our emotions, our thoughts and our will. These all can be broken, and they need to be fixed, just like the leaking roof, or the broken pipe, or the whatever physical things in our lives. We can have morbid, scary, sad, etc thoughts and emotions, and we can have no will to recover, no will to heal, no will to live…..Are we running to the phone to call a healer, therapist, psychiatrist…..? Do we want to fix it the same day we first felt those feelings and thought those thoughts? Are we willing to say: Whatever it takes; Whatever it costs; Just fix it, because I don’t want to stay this way, because I owe it to myself, and I owe it to the ones I love and to those that love me. What is it that makes us value our things more than our own soul? What has to happen for us to make a move, to stand our ground, to step up to the plate, to want to be happy, joyful, to want to have fun, tell a joke, and laugh, laugh, laugh? I wonder.
I am busy, you are busy, he/she is busy everybody is busy, and everybody will stop and drop what they were doing, to attend fixing what went wrong when they were busy.
Than comes the: Oh my God, how did this happen? How did this happen to me?
I’m from a country where people still visit each other without a phone call. Would be considered rude here, but there they drop everything, and attend to the guest, and they do that with joy. There are no homeless people. Maybe a few. What that has to do with this subject? Relationships in families, friendships, neighbors are strong there. People help each other, mainly with emotional support. When you don’t feel alone, you do come up with ideas and solutions. Fear paralyzes the brain. The biggest gift you can give to a human being is LOVE, which is impossible to express without time and attention. Homelessness is a state of mind I think. But that’s a subject for another blog.
We are the ones that create and nurture meaningful relationships, between Mother and Daughter, Father and Son, Mother and Son, Father and Daughter, Sister and Brother, Aunts and Uncles, Grandmothers, Grandfathers, friendships, romantic relationships and so on…. or don’t.
But it’s complicated – they say. No it’s not, but it will be. Hurts and misunderstandings happen all the time. Addressing them, approaching the other person who we hurt, or who hurt us and try to make mends, apologize, understand, correct the problem as soon as possible. The bigger the time gap, the bigger the gap in the relationship. And yes, it does get complicated. We are the ones who decide, make a conscious choice to visit somebody, to turn the f….n phone off and pay attention with love and compassion to the other person. That’s a gift to the other person and to us as well. It does feel like time stops.
It does take courage to love and give yourself into a relationship fully. To stay with one person long enough (I’m not talking about a romantic relationship only), to have a chance to know her/him on a deeper level, and TRUST, TRUST, TRUST. Hm, I just opened the door to yet another subject/blog which is why don’t we trust? Stay tuned it’s coming. But I think we know the answer to this one already.
Love, love, love! I fall on my face sometimes, but I get up, and I love again.
Although I started having panic attacks at the age of ten, my parents would never suspect, that something was wrong with me on any other level than physical. They always thought I had weak nerves. As an adult I often asked the question: How come my Mom and Dad didn’t see that I was lost and suffocated in that family? They were busy being miserable,and did not have the information and the knowledge we have today.
The loud fighting, arguing went on and on in our house almost every day. My Mom and Dad have had so much problems each, that I did everything I could to not be another one. I was a straight A student, piano classes, kayaking…no fooling around with boys, a perfect kid, a perfect teenager. Additionally to that I was the clown of the family, who made funny faces, danced, whistled or told jokes whenever there was a need to release tension. Sounds familiar?
So, just a thought: Is it possible for the kids in the family to be all right, when the parents are not? I don’t think so. Not every family is loud. Some parents/couples are really nice and polite to each other, but sometimes that’s all there is, no love and affection. And there is the third kind, where they aren’t nice/polite, they aren’t loud, but there is this passive-aggressive constant tension between couples.
If/when the kids are/seem happy in families like this, something is off. Children want their parents to be happy, peaceful and successful. And they want to fix their problems. But they can’t, they aren’t equipped, and they aren’t suppose to.
If you can’t resolve your issues, and the same ones keep coming up, ask for help. Geotran the language of all possibilities will create rapid personal transformation, so you could be the person, the spouse, the parent you always wanted to be. YOU could be YOU.
Just a few days ago I got seven-eight flies in my bedroom around the window. I was looking for cracks, holes, openings, and couldn’t find anything. Where did they get in? I had no idea. I grabbed a t-shirt, and killed them. Cruel right? Yes, but I really didn’t know what else to do, since it was late at night, and I wanted to sleep.
Next day I had seven-eight new ones. Wow, I was furious. Son of a gun, I thought. What am I going to do? Looked again everywhere to find out how did they get in. Nothing. This situation went on for a couple of days.
Finally I gave in, and asked a friend of mine to take a look. She came into my room, opened the window that was by that time covered with flies, and let them out. Go figure. No killing was required.
I was trying to figure it out. Solve the problem. Sometimes all you need to do is, ASK FOR HELP, and LET IT GO. I still don’t know how on Earth did they come in. It’s not important. They are gone, because I ASKED FOR HELP and I LET THEM GO.
Do you have “flies” in your life? Are you able to let them go? Did you ask for help? You didn’t? YOU DON”T HAVE TO DO IT ALONE, no matter how small or big the problem is.
Why didn’t I come up with the solution? – my ego would try to keep asking that question. Because I was IN IT.
If you’re in it up to your eyeballs, and you’re not able to find a solution or let go, to open that window, ask for help. I’m here. Your problem is simple to me, because I’m not in it, and I have some awesome tools too.
Kids these days have an idea at a young age what their goals and dreams are. Don’t worry if you don’t have it yet, because everybody has their own timing. We often ask ourselves: What am I to do on this Planet? People who just want to get rich, live a luxurious life for their own sake, are not my cup of tea. I would like to help those who are eager to find out what their calling is, to find themselves under the pile of generational, social, political, religious, etc. issues/agendas, and get in touch with their own blue print.
Let me touch another issue related to this subject. A lot of people do know what their goals and dreams are at a young age, but they forget. Wow, how does that happen? Life happens. If you let it. Sometimes it’s inevitable: we need to take care of someone, have an accident, tragedy, we want to please somebody else, and we get derailed. I’m not supposed to hate, I’m a healer, but I do hate this word: “derailed”. That word means plan B or C. That word means not living your own life. That’s when you louse years spending in limbo, focus, and start living a life according to somebody else’s expectations. In situations, when you need to put your own life on hold, keep remembering that dream, fantasize about that dream: like a waitress, who keeps going to auditions to become an actress, just DO NOT GIVE UP.
If you feel you’re drowning in plan B, and want to do something about it, need some direction, motivation, some tools to stay focused, look me up. I’m here, talk to me! I will help you remember who you are, and discover your purpose/calling/mission. It’s NEVER TOO LATE.
No, it’s never enough to talk about this particular topic. Some of you still think that forgiving someone means agreeing with what they’ve done, or said that hurt you. No, what it means, that you have peace. What it means is, that you’re no longer torturing yourself about it, you put it to rest. And you rest. You stop the: But how could she/he….? Or how could I….? How about forgiving yourself your own mistakes? and move on, move on, move on!!!!!!
Life is full of mistakes, failures. The good part is, when you look back and you know, that that was a mistake, you did grow, and you’re not there anymore. Unforgiveness would keep you in the past, keep you stuck, whether it’s toward somebody else or toward yourself.
You’re not free until you forgive. You hold yourself a prisoner of grudge, sadness, hurt, disrespect, or whatever the violation was. You might even attract more of the same.
If you would like to forgive, but you don’t know how, Geotran will help you in no time. Come on! Don’t waste your energy any longer! Open up your heart again! Live your life in happiness and joy, because that’s what is waiting for you at the other end of it.
Why am I talking to/about teenagers and young adults exclusively this time, when there are plenty of adults shooting and snoring up? Because they are trying to find themselves, who they are, what they want, what their purpose in life is, who they love, … everything for them is up in the air. They are vulnerable.
There are a few exceptions – kids who have a strong sense of self at a very young age. That’s a blessing. The majority aren’t strong enough to fight back, to say no, they are more adventurous than they should be. I would say adventure’s misunderstood big time.
What they need is a safe environment at that time, so they can focus on figuring it all out.
And I’m not trying to blame, judge or criticize anybody here, because sometimes the family does everything right, and things go wrong anyway, and it’s not my place to judge.
Please listen to this song from Alan Parson Project: https://youtu.be/NK-_2G7MMgc.
But sometimes we need to take a look at the family. I can hear people say to this: “It’s none of my business”. Well, that’s one way to look at it. One poor, miserable, ignorant way. Please excuse my bluntness, but I have heard just too many sad stories about young lives lost, and I would like to raise awareness to this point: “If you see something, DO SOMETHING”! We don’t know what’s going on behind closed doors. It could be anything: emotional/mental abuse, physical abuse, incest, etc. We can help only those, who we know about, and those who allow our help. I’m not sure where is the fine line in the situation of addictions.
Here is the problem or problems:
1. The addiction itself (which is a symptom of an underlying issue) is becoming more difficult to resolve, overcome, deal with, than the underlying cause. We can’t say it any more directly: it’s only the tip of the iceberg. Later, it becomes the iceberg!!!!! It directly endangers the lives of young, innocent and lost (emotionally / spiritually) children.
2. People with addiction deal with victim mentality and “no way out” or “no choice” mentality. The marriage of these two makes it impossible to change the course of events. Again, there is no judgment on my part. Why, because I did go through some phases of it myself, but I was able to stop at the edge of the cliff. Thanks to Geotran! It is mandatory to restore choice, and get out of the victim mentality to start making different decisions. How? The answer is: GEOTRAN. Please be curious, and ask questions. I’m here.
3. On top of the above, or some would argue, that this is the # 1 cause: no faith, no trust. We need to love ourselves, we need the love of others, and we need to feel the love of God, to be connected. How? Once choice is restored, and the person is no longer a victim, is able to step up to the plate, and is accountable for his/her own actions, this person does not want to stay disconnected from the Source. There are different ways to achieve that connection. Feel free to ask questions. I am here.
4. There is no order of priority here. All these are equally important, and there are more components to this complex issue. The underlying cause has to be dealt with. It is mandatory. If there is a trigger (person, place or thing) that has to be eliminated, no matter how close that may be, in order for someone to develop a healthy soul (thoughts, emotions and will). Children, teens and young adults are very sensitive to the issues of the adults in their lives, and may feel responsible for them, may feel being the cause to their suffering. It’s a trap!!!!!
A good healer has to have the ability to change this misunderstanding, and create a safe haven for the child to grow into a happy, responsible and successful adult.
5. Lastly, the health of a person with addiction is greatly compromised. The brain chemistry is altered, hopefully not to the point of mental illness. The physical body needs to be built up, balanced, nourished, and all this in a safe, loving and nurturing environment. I am a Certified Naturopath, specialized in nutrition and herbology, and I can give you a hand.
Again, if you see or hear something, DO SOMETHING. Why? Because the person that you are doing something for is a fellow HUMAN BEING.